Hi! My name is Tim, and this is a story about how I wanted to impress a girl so much, I almost burned a house down. With people in it. This is not like me at all, and I can’t even believe this happened. It basically all started with a lie.
Even before it all began, I fell in love with a girl from my school who was one grade older. Her name is Olivia and for weeks already I’ve been trying to talk to her. I’ve been hanging around at lunch breaks, hoping there would be a chance to start a ""natural"" conversation. For a very long time, nothing happened, and I was too shy to just talk to her.
But then on one of those lunch breaks, I overheard Oliva’s conversation with her classmate. They were talking about a group of older guys, who are actually pretty famous at our school. I’ll call them The Crew. It’s hard to say what’s so special about them, maybe it’s… everything? In a dictionary, the word ‘awesome’ is probably illustrated with their photos. They are 3 guys and 2 girls that always hang out together, and they are an electronic band that plays shows not only at our school, but also at venues around town. They all look 25, and are ""cool"" and popular and they've never ever bullied anyone – more than that, if they see that someone is being bullied, they go out of their way to protect them. But apart from that, they hang out separately and don't really talk to anyone else.
So Olivia was relatively new to our school and she was telling her friend that she’d really like to get to know these guys somehow, but that she didn’t know how.
I was with my friend Jim at a table right next to her (I’m not a stalker… I don't think…), and I have no idea what I was thinking… but I felt like this was my chance. I turned to her table, apologized for overhearing the conversation, and said that I knew the guys from the crew pretty well, and that I could introduce her if she wanted. And that was a huge and shameless lie. I guess I kinda blacked out and just… said it.
“Awesome!” she said, ""Why don’t we do that now?” This was when I panicked. I did not know what to do... I was trying to buy some time and LUCKILY after a couple of minutes the group stood up and left. She did not see it and I was like: “Oh no, they already left… Well, maybe some other time then.” I did not care when that “other time” would be. Our contact had been established.
I guess I was hoping she’d forget my promise, but couldn’t forget the fact that we were now acquainted. I know, I know, there’s zero logic in it, but like… that happens when you talk to your crush for the first time. I guess most of us go through this at some point.
In the evening, it got even better. Or even worse, I'm still not sure. She DMed me on Instagram. Yeah... she found my account, followed it, and DMed me to remind me about the promise. We texted each other for an hour or so and I felt like the happiest person on Earth. But as it often happens, in the morning that feeling was gone, and it had been replaced by fear. The moment I woke up, I realized that now I really had to introduce her to people that I did not know. And there was no way out of it.
I started thinking of ways to get to know the crew “naturally.” But as you have probably already guessed, I’m not too good at stuff like that. In addition, younger guys and girls are trying to hang out with them all the time, like sit down at their table at lunch, but they just look ridiculous.
I definitely needed help, so I decided to ask my friend Jim, who I've already mentioned. He’s basically the only person I can trust at school, so I didn’t have much of a choice. I’d be happy to say that the crazy idea you are about to hear was his, but I’m afraid it was mine. And he agreed with it, so I’m not the only one accountable, right?
Anyway, here’s what we decided to do. Jim knew where the garage where they were playing music was located. It was not a garage by a house, just a set of garages and warehouses on the outskirts of town. They would come there to practice every Thursday and Saturday. So, the idea was to bring a little bit of gasoline and to set the garage on fire… just a little bit. Like… to create an illusion that it was on fire, and then for me to save them like a hero from ""the fire,"" and get to know them like this. Naturally. The best ice-breaker ever. God, it all sounds even dumber than I thought.
Jim was with me to help. And we decided to do this on a Saturday, when the crew was supposed to be at the garage. And that’s what happened: I poured some gasoline on the wall right beside the garage door, I lit a match, and…
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I Tried To Burn Several People To Impress A Girl
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